There are a lot of ways to try and find the right roommate for your apartment. You can post an ad with the information and ask people to contact you, or, we suppose, you can create an arbitrary point system and then ask potential roomies to tally up their points to see if they qualify. That's basically what this Craigslist roommate ad in the Central District did. So let's see if we survive the cut...
We are located at 20th and Spruce near the following bus routes: 8,3,4,27,48,14, (+1 for every bus that is applicable to you).
It is not applicable to us. NO POINTS.
Rent is $430 a month and we split the bills evenly, namely the internet and electricity (+1 if you don't have a problem with that division).
We do not have a problem with that division. ONE POINT!
The carpeting is a neutral brownish colour, we also have a skylight and a working fireplace! (+3 if you didn't start the fire because it was always burning since the world's been turning).
We did not start the fire because it was always burning since the world's been turning. THREE POINTS!
The room is 10x11ft with a medium sized closet, ample natural light and, oddly, its own secret-ish entrance and landing (+1 if you vote to let us keep using the landing as storage and you use the front door like a non-creeper).
We would prefer to be considered a non-creeper. ONE POINT!
We keep our bathroom moderately clean. (+2 if you don't practice "if it's yellow let it mellow." No one wants their bathroom smelling like piss).
We do not want our bathroom smelling like piss. TWO POINTS!
Our kitchen is pretty tiny but we do have a dishwasher (+1 if you wash your own dishes but aren't a jerk about washing other peoples dishes, +5 if you like to cook)
We are fine with washing dishes and we CAN cook but LIKING to cook is another story. ONE POINT!
Our recycling tends to pile up, so if you have a bigger container to use for that then it would be pretty cool (+1 if you do.) Also, on the topic of things we could use, we need bookshelves (so if you have those you get an automatic +5).
We own a large container that could be used for recycling. We do not own a bookshelf, let alone multiple bookshelves. ONE POINT!
We drink lots of wine and beer (+5 if you like doing that to).
We like doing that. FIVE POINTS!
We occasionally stay up pretty late and can be very loud (+5 if that describes you and/or does not bother you).
We'll be honest, we're in our thirties and the days of staying up pretty late and being loud are relatively behind us. NO POINTS.
We have a fat cat with questionable hygiene, so we have to clean it pretty frequently (+10 if you would be willing to participate in the cat bathing sessions!)
Oddly, we are excited about this. TEN POINTS!
Alright, this long winded ad is finally culminating so girls, boys, and non-gender specifics lets total up your points! If they add up to a big fancy number that is probably a good sign!
Our grand total: TWENTY-FOUR POINTS! When do we move in?
How'd you score? And if you're interested in applying, make sure you include your score in your email title. We're guessing anyone under ten points goes right in the trash.