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All That Enter This $2.8M Home Are 'Changed For The Experience.'

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You almost have to begrudgingly admire the broker babble on this Madison Park 3-BR up for $2.88M. It goes down the rabbit hole and doesn't emerge again until it has bathed you in hyperbole so thick, you'll need to towel off afterward.

The first six sentences cover all the bases:

Intelligent design guided by creative inspiration. Precision engineering executed by skilled craftsman. Zen spirit carried out with enthusiastic energy. A home for art and entertaining. A home to meditate and reflect. Contemporary in design yet timeless in appeal. Next up, a series of one-word sentences for some reason:

Open. Light. Indoor / Outdoor. Private. Quiet. Easy. Clean. 3 bedrooms / 3 baths. Elevator. Office. Studio. And then, the big finish...

All that enter are changed for the experience. A singular home. A singular statement. A singular experience. Plus, there's a golden retriever in one of the photos. Or as this broker might described it, "A dog. Man's best friend. Loyal. Unwavering. Panty. Wants a treat. Barks at the moon but rises with the sun. Urinates."
· 1910 37th Place E [Estately]