One savvy entrepreneur in Ballard recently put up a Craigslist ad for twenty gallons of green slime that need a new home. Don't worry, this slime "doesn't contain Borax or other additional chemicals," so you know it's high-quality slime. No word on whether or not it's organic or locally-sourced slime. We started wondering what one might be able to do with twenty gallons of free green slime around Seattle. We're not saying you should do any of these things, we're just spitballin' here. Or slimeballin' as the case may be...
1. Slather yourself in green slime and stand silently in the middle of Pike Place Market, terrorizing tourists.
2. Conserve water on a hot Seattle summer day by creating a slime pool instead. You don't think kids will love a slime pool?
3. Douse yourself in slime and run through downtown screaming, "He slimed me! He slimed me!," looking back at a nonexistent ghost every so often.
4. Set up a slime tank outside CenturyLink Field on game day for Seahawks fans who forgot to paint themselves green.
5. Take the ALS Bucket Challenge to the next level (via cheanerman)
6. Find a way to affix it to the Fremont Troll's nose and let gravity do what it does.
7. On a busy day as Gas Works Park, smother yourself in slime and emerge from the old gas works, yelling, "I AM BORN ANEW!!!"
8. Create an effigy of Clay Bennett and have a slime-on-slime party.
9. Donate it to Seattle Tunnel Partners. Can't be worse than anything else they've tried to use to get Bertha unstuck.
10. Set up a booth at the Ballard Famer's Market with tiny bottles of "artisan slime." Tie a small rope ribbon around the top of the bottle and stencil a picture of a bird on it. Profit.
11. See if Pike Brewery can think of some way to turn it into a new beer flavor. They probably can.
12. Leave a slime trail that runs for thousands of feet throughout Discovery Park. Call KOMO to warm them of giant radioactive slugs terrorizing the community.
13. Fill a plastic coffee cup with slime, go into a Starbucks and tell them your thin mint frappachino tastes funny and ask them to remake it.
14. Your local road doesn't have a highly-visible bike lane? Make your own!
15. Go to CenturyLink Field before a Sounders match and tell fans that smothering yourself in team-colored slime before matches is all the rage with Bundesliga fans right now.
16. Smother your house in slime and put it up for sale just so you can get prime placement in Curbed's This Week in Strange, Weird & Terrible Seattle Real Estate Listing Photos post.
17. Put slime in bottles, write "Seattle" on the bottle and sell for $25 a pop at Pike Place Market. Profit.
18. Pour all of it onto the EMP Museum. It's not like you could make it uglier...
19. Become a super villain known as The Slimeball. Leave slime in random places where Phoenix Jones is sure to notice it. Commence your game of cat-and-mouse that culminates in a slime battle atop the Space Needle.
20. Smother the Statue of Liberty at Alki Beach in slime and find out once and for all whether or not Ghostbusters 2 was based in scientific fact.
· 20 Gallons of Green Slime [Craigslist]