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20 Questions For This Magnolia Listing for 'Top Notch People'

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A tipster pointed us in the direction of this listing for the house at 3207 Magnolia Blvd W in Magnolia which is...kinda a rental but possibly also a purchase down the road? It's hard to say. The broker babble is strong but it leaves us asking a lot of questions.

This is an unusual rental opportunity at a fraction of the normal cost to lease in this neighborhood.. Only "Top Notch" People need apply, por favor. Animals, etc etc...."Negotiable". Possibility for sale....(someday). A 30 year Mtg. at 2%. No money down. With no monthly loan payments! REALLY. Too good to be true? NORMALLY So. Ask Banker Bob to explain.......

Pets......(??).........small utility cost possible. Everything is negotiable. Prefer single person.....(although?). Lease duration is OPEN. This is sharing what would be a $4,500 a month property. Owners are seldom home. A rare opportunity for a Big View property on Magnolia Bluff. Option to purchase is possible at some point. At way below market....... 1. What does a "Top Notch" person look like?
2. Is "por favor" code that they have to speak Spanish?
3. "Animals, etc etc...."Negotiable"." What's covered under "etc etc?"
4. Does "etc etc" include animal-human hybrids? mole people? gimps?
5. You're right, those sale numbers DO sound too good to be true.
6. Who is Banker Bob?
7. Is Banker Bob his given name?
8. Should we refer to him as Banker Robert until we've gotten to know one another?
9. "Pets......(??)" doesn't really answer the question, does it?
10. Is it that you don't like pets in the house or just the general concept of owning a pet?
11. "Prefer single person.....(although?)." Did you just ask us out?
12. What if it's a single who is ready to mingle?
13. What if it's a single who is not ready to mingle?
14. Hold up, "this is sharing what would be a $4,500 a month property?"
15. Now we're sharing the home?
16. "Owners are seldom home." How seldom is seldom?
17. Is seldom like "they sleep there but that's it" or is seldom like "they show up randomly twice a month?"
18. Do you know there's a lot of "possibles" in here?
19. Do you know a lot of "Top Notch" people interested in renting a place full of "possibles?"
20. This is fake, right?
· 3207 Magnolia Blvd W [Zillow]
H/T: whitesky60